


Haikyuu Confessions: Your Choice

by jheyr



Series: Haikyuu Confessions [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8526928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jheyr/pseuds/jheyr
Summary: HAIKYUU CONFESSIONSA confession page for all characters in Haikyuu.A series of letters from anonymous senders. "All my life, I saw people cry and get hurt because they were just one of the choices but never the chosen. They say how painful it was to be just a pasttime, a second option, a rebound, and whatnot. But it hurts more to know that you were never one of the choices." AU. Gender-bender. Random.





	

**Author's Note:**

> They are OOC, I guess.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu!!

I am drunk as of right now. Most people say that memories temporarily fade when your brain is intoxicated with alcohol but that's not true. I remember every single memory of us while drunk. I am not the type to get drunk but they say that hearts become steel when one is drunk. So with that, I am typing this so I can pour everything out of my system.

I am not only drunk with alcohol but I am also drunk with the thought of you and me --- _us._

Call me D. I have a girlfriend --- _ex-girlfriend, I mean_ \--- for 7 years. I gave my 7 years to her. 7 years that I will never ever get back.

She was great. She has that dazzling smile that can light up my world. She makes me love her more for her personality of being genuine. She is also extremely beautiful --- the gentle type of beauty. Plus she had a beauty mark that fits her. I am not a guy that people would consider good-looking. I am just average I guess. I was also kind of lame and you know, a typical nerd _(P.S. a nerd does not require a pair of glasses)_ with a bad temper.

Who would have thought that a nerd like me would have a beautiful girl like her in my life? She is not just beautiful on the outside but also inside. She's like Miss Perfect. I am very thankful to the higher being above if there really is one for giving me someone like her.

How our love story started is not much of a novel material but it started with me texting a number that was plugged by a friend of mine through a group message. I was bored so I texted the number. She replied and that's how everything started. Yes, we started as textmates.

When we decided to meet-up, I was too speechless to say anything. That cool girl I am texting with is this beautiful girl in front of me? She is indeed Miss Perfect. She is not snob depite being a head-turner. I was nervous because I do not have anything to boast to her. I do not have the looks and I can say I have the intelligence but that makes me look lame. Beautiful girls like her must be paired with beautiful people. Not like me who looks like an old person.

I asked her out and luck seems to be by my side that time because she said yes. We dated and it was great. I tried changing myself to fit someone like her. She said I do not have to change so much but she did helped me be a better person. I learned how to dress myself decently (as decent as I can be despite today's generation). She became proud of me and she loved me even more for each effort I put for her.

Our relationship started when I was Second Year in Highschool and it lasted all throughout our college days. When we graduated highschool, we started living together. We had part-time jobs and despite being busy with work, we have time for each other. We do argue but isn't fighting normal for couples? It is even considered healthy if couples fight often, not all the time though. We talked, cuddled, kissed, held hands, it even came to a point where something more happened. We also had future plans and goals. It was like that everyday and I will never ever grow tired of it.

But one day, she became cold. I am not so stupid as to think that nothing is wrong with us. I knew we had a problem. I know for myself I do not have a problem because I did nothing wrong and I am satisfied with just being with her. I tried to talk to her about it but instead she said, "I'm tired. There is something wrong with us, D. I need space."

I asked, "There is something wrong with us? I do not have a problem, you know. Is something wrong?"

She went to the closet to get some clothes while ignoring me. "I will be back for four months. I need to find myself."

"Why?"

"I want to be alone! Please leave!"

I stared at her but she did not backed down despite me boring holes into her while she packed her clothes. "Fine. Four months."

For four months, we had no contact with each other. I missed her like crazy. I often just bury my face in her pillow because it smells like her. We are a couple and yet there is nothing I can do except to wait for her to come back to me. I'm hopeless, right?

After four months, she came to me. I am happy that we're fine again --- that she came back to me. But despite that she is just within reach, it felt like I can never ever reach her. Pretty much like the saying, _"So close yet so far away."_ She seldom talks to me. She even flinches when I touch her. It seems like even my presence disgusts her. She never smiles at me. She never laughs at my attempts of joking. She pushes me away when I hug her from behind. Everything changed. But among all of the changes, the way she does not respond to me when I say "I love you" hurts me the most.

One night, we slept beside each other. When she fell asleep, I hugged her tightly so I can have the assurance that she is right here in my arms, I am holding her, and she is mine. I saw her phone light up in the night stand so I reached for it. I saw the names of two guys. I felt cheated. I cannot explain the feeling of knowing that I am not enough. I am not enough to make her whole.

My heart slowly and painfully crushed into powder as I continued reading her conversations with the two guys in her phone. I learned that she was cheating on me for a very long time. The reason she left me for four months was because she spent two months with a guy in Kyoto while another two months with a different guy in Kanagawa. I cannot help the tears from falling as I stiffled my sobs so as to not wake her up.

A few months passed and I did not gave up on her. I became even more caring and I showed my love to her more than ever. Am I a martyr if I chose her even though I was cheated? Who could blame me? I just love her so much to the point that I will endure the pain as long as she is with me.

One day, I saw her crying. I sat beside her and gently asked her if she was okay. She told me to go away because she wanted to be alone. I stared at her with sadness before I kissed her forehead and heading out of our room.

A few minutes later, she went out of the room and directly told me, "I do not love you anymore."

It felt like I was shot straight to the heart. The pain drowned me and it was hard to breathe. I just stared at her for a long time until I felt numb with the pain of my heart.

I stood up from the couch and walked towards her. I stopped in front of her and smiled sadly, "I know."

She did not saw that coming. "H-How long did you knew?"

"For a while. I know the reason why you're crying." I held her face in both of my hands and made her look at me. "You had a fight with one of your guys. I know that you are confused on who to choose between the two of them. It hurts and I know that my heart will take a long time for it to heal. But you know, my love, I did not have any regrets because I did everything to make you happy."

She just stared at me with tears flowing down her eyes. I wiped her tears away with my thumb before I kissed her for the very last time. I tried to engrave the feeling of her lips on my lips. My own tears probably mixed with hers as we kissed. When we separated for air, I looked at her in the eyes as our noses touched.

"I'm sorry, D. I should have told you earlier. Please forgive me."

"I forgave you long ago, my love. I will not ask you the reason why you did this to me because you are human. You are flawed. I once thought of you as Miss Perfect but you are not. I am just sad that I am not the man for you. I was never enough and that hurts."

"I'm very sorry."

"You just loved. And there is never right or wrong in love." I kissed her forehead. "I hope you can choose between the two of them."

All my life, I saw people cry and get hurt because they were just one of the choices but never the chosen. They say how painful it was to be just a pasttime, a second option, a rebound, and whatnot. But it hurts more to know that you were never one of the choices.

**D**


End file.
